The Art of Failure
If you don't know how to fail, then there is no victory. - David Goggins
The greatest obstacle to success is the fear of failure.
And before you click off thinking “I already know this” or “I’m not afraid of failure,” withhold your judgement and keep reading...
You see, wether it’s your business, that skill, that project, or your life. Without the proper relationship to failure, you’re never going to make it.
There’s an art to failure.
“If you don’t know how to fail... there is no victory.” - David Goggins
So let’s dive in.
Ego Involvment.
We will forever deny that we’re afraid of failure.
Since young, we’ve been told that fear is for the weak.
“Stop being such a pussy.” “Ahh, are you scared?” “Scaredy cat.” Etc.
But this fear isn’t surface level.
It’s subconscious.
On a subconscious level, we’re afraid of failure for one main reason:
Identification.
When we fail, we identify with that failure.
The task fails → I am a failure.
And we are social creatures. It’s in our nature to want to fit in. To be liked. Loved. And accepted.
Becoming a failure prevents us from getting that.
If I fail → I am a failure → and no one likes, loves, or accepts a failure.
It starts from early on in childhood.
Schools programmed us to perceive failure as bad.
“You failed the exam.” “You failed the test.” “You’re failing class.”
You get scolded and mocked for failing.
What’s worse, they play out the exact scenario we fear most:
If you fail class, you literally get left behind. You get separated from your friends and peers and will be seen as inferior.
It’s things like this that install a subconscious fear of failure in us.
But in the real world, failure is not only normal, but actually necessary for success(more on that later).
To get back to the fear of failure, I want you to understand the impact this has on your life.
Fear & Self-Sabotage
First off, fear of failure is the foundation of our procrastination/laziness issues.
Remember:
We don’t want to fail. We fear failure.
So if we don’t do “that thing” yet, it means that we won’t have to fail. We get to avoid it. And thus get to avoid “becoming” a failure.
Take starting a business, writing a blog, or creating content.
If you don’t start, you can fantasize about it working out. About your skill. About the possibilities.
But if you actually have to do it... it might expose that you’re not so good after all. That you’ll fail. That it turns out worse then you had in mind.
So, avoidance protects us.
Think about that for a second.
But this is not the only problem.
Because of this fear of failure, you can develop the habit of not giving things your all.
You never fully commit.
This is a protection mechanism.
If you don’t fully commit and then fail...
...you can(subconsciously) tell yourself “But I wasn’t really trying anyway.”
It’s a psychological shield. It protects you from “becoming a failure.”
”You never gave your all in something because you were afraid that failing after trying your best would prove that you never really had that ‘potential’ to begin with.”
Think about that for a sec.
This takes guts to admit to yourself, but if you can do it, you’ll experience massive growth.
The Art of Failure
“I don’t see failure as failure. I see it as my first, second, third, fourth, fifth attempt. I see them as attempts.” - David Goggins
As you understand now, we’re afraid of failure.
Most of the time, we identify with failure. We take it to heart. The task failed → I’m a failure. We start wondering wether it’s worth it. Wether we even have it in us. Etc.
But this dwelling only leads to us giving up.
People talk about “analyze your mistakes.” And this is true to some extent.
But the reality is:
“You can’t spend much time in that fail zone. You have to be able to get up, and get after it the next day, just as fast.” - David Goggins.”
You can’t stay down too long.
You have to move on.
This reminds me of an interesting protocol in certain military divisions.
You see, when soldiers learn to base jump, there are instances where the main parachute doesn’t open.
The soldiers end up opening their emergency parachute.
As soon as they hit the ground, they get picked up, put on another plane and are forced to jump again immediately.
Why?
Because it overrides the failure.
It prevents them from spending time worrying, overthinking, doubting, etc.
They just go through it again and succeed.
And this brings me to the truth about failure and how we operate as human beings.
Humans learn to succeed by forgetting failures and remembering successes.
Humans operate using a built-in servo-mechanism(our brain and nervous system).
This mechanism guides us towards various goals.
This concept comes from Cybernetics. Cybernetics comes from a greek word meaning literally: “The steersman”.
And just like a steersman guiding a ship. Our servo-mechanism guides us by acting, making mistakes, and correcting course.
Think about a guided torpedo.
It doesn’t magically follow the target. It has two components that help guide it.
It moves forward.
It receives feedback.
For example, it moves towards the target and receives feedback that it’s going too far to the left. It will then adjust it’s course more towards the right. Then, after moving forward for a bit, it receives new feedback that it’s too far to the right. So it adjusts and moves more towards the left. It repeats this process in a zig-zag manner until it gets to the target.
And humans function the same.
Think about grabbing something in the dark.
You’re groping for it. You stretch your arm forward and grab nothing. You miss. So you keep grabbing and feeling different spots until you find it.
And this brings us to the obvious conclusion:
Without failure, there is no victory.
You NEED failure in order to succeed.
Imagine giving yourself one shot to grab that item in the dark. Or giving the torpedo just one lucky guess to hit a moving target.
It doesn’t work like that.
But because of our fear of failure, that’s what we want to happen. We’re so caught up in our identity and our fear of looking stupid, that we try to bypass nature.
It will never work.
You have to embrace the fact that failure is NECESSARY to succeed.
It’s not just a part of success. It’s literally the path to it.
If you study the greats, you’ll notice that great success is always accompanied by great failure.
“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” - Michael Jordan
“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
Can it be any more clear than this?
“The great Babe Ruth, who holds the record for the most home runs, also holds the record for the most strike-outs. It is in the nature of things that we progress by acting, making mistakes, and correcting course.” - Maxwell Maltz
You see, you have to get over your fear of failure.
Realize that you have this fear on a subconscious level. Be aware what it’s trying to do(protect you from becoming a failure). And then go anyway.
Don’t be afraid of looking stupid.
We all hate looking stupid. We hate making a fool of ourselves and failing publicly.
But this isn’t school. This is the real world.
And in the real world, failure is necessary.
Show me a man who has never failed, and I’ll show you a man who has never attempted anything.
“Failure means you’re trying. Whole bunch of people out there never fail. Which means they never try.” - David Goggins
Practicing the art.
Failure is necessary. Accept it.
Don’t just think about it. Don’t just “get it over with.”
Embrace it. Love it. Seek it out.
The easiest way to master The Art of Failure is to start a project.
Wether that’s starting a business, learning a skill, getting in shape. It doesn’t matter.
Start the project and ship relentlessly.
Intentionally TRY to fail fast.
When I started this brand, I decided to post content every day for 90 days. I didn’t care about failure. I created and iterated. And because of that, I now master social media. (By the way, If you want to learn how build your own social media brand, check out The Faceless Brand Playbook)
Remember:
You won’t learn how to swim by reading a book about swimming and you can’t learn to drive in a parked car.
Fucking execute!
You have everything you need.
You possess what it takes.
The only thing you need to do, is embrace failure. Be willing to look stupid. Understand that the only thing stopping you from becoming successful is your willingness to look stupid.
The biggest success habit is being willing to look stupid. - Alex Hormozi
Obviously, analyze and implement. Figure out what went wrong and why. What can you do better next time? But then move again ASAP!
Don’t allow the fear of failure to hold you back. And don’t let actual failures hold you down.
Learn to embrace The Art of Failure and I’m certain that you’ll make it work.
With that being said, I conclude this letter.
I believe in you.
Cheers,
ELEVATE
P.S. Whenever you’re ready, here are some tools and resources if you’re interested:
Build Relentless Discipline - Destroy the enemy in your mind and do what needs to be done regardless of how you feel.
Faceless Brand Playbook - Learn how to build a passion-based faceless brand from someone still doing it.